Wills Memorial building to be rebranded Sports Direct Arena
Following mounting pressure to sever the University of Bristol’s ties with the slave trade, a petition was launched last week to rename the Wills Memorial Building.
Whilst those who initiated the petition may not have expected it to reach further than the West Country, billionaire retail entrepreneur Mike Ashley has seen this as an opportunity for promotion.
Since the tragic affair in Newcastle in 2011 – in which St James’ Park was briefly and unsuccessfully colonised as the Sports Direct Arena – Ashely has been hungry for a new site.
Yesterday, the University of Bristol received a ‘very serious, seven-figure offer’ to completely rebrand the iconic building, according to our sources.
‘SportsDirect.com, UK’s Number 1’ is reportedly to be engraved on the front of the building.
Negotiations are ongoing, but the presence of a ‘closing down’ sign is expected to be included in the deal, to remain ‘in keeping with the national brand’. SportsDirect.com has released this statement: ‘we are hugely excited to get involved in the community, and especially to become a part of the collective cover-up and denial of Bristol’s controversial past’.
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness
- 4‘The Noise Pages’ takes matters into their own hands, burns down High Kingsdown
- 5‘It’s just a friend mum!’: student dropped off in Redland moves seamlessly from family car into back seat of black BMW