Final Brexit Bill to be written in Comic Sans
Prime Minister Theresa May has confirmed plans to publish the final bill which will activate Article 50 and begin the process of the UK leaving the EU in comic sans, in what has broadly being taken as a bold opening move to the post-Brexit trade negotiations.
Tory rebels have since fallen in line in exchange for the government white paper, Labour announced that it would issue a three line whip to support the bill despite not winning the vote on its desired amendments.
It appears the move has allowed Theresa May new leeway in negotiations, with her government’s political capital skyrocketing.
It was initially speculated that the plans were merely a show of dominance. However Downing Street sources have instead framed it as a key part of the negotiating strategy. In a statement one of May’s aids told The Whip that her aim was to “confuse and confound,” the European Union, as she had been doing excellently thus far.
Brexit Secretary David Davies elaborated on the plan in an impromptu press conference later in the day with strategies including ordering pizza in the name of the EU negotiators, clogging up all the toilets in the building on even numbered floors every Tuesday morning, and having Boris Johnson on the negotiating team.
Opposition Leader Jeremy Corbyn was critical of the strategy. Stating that although Labour respected the result of the referendum, he insisted the Conservative hierarchy is, “incapable of creating chaos on the scale I am”.
The veteran MP later pointed to his own parliamentary party as a key example of superiority in that area.
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3‘It’s just a friend mum!’: student dropped off in Redland moves seamlessly from family car into back seat of black BMW
- 4Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness
- 5Loser condemned to 3 years of friendless misery after posting in fresher Facebook group