Student gives up for Lent

In an announcement that many feel has been a long time coming, third year Psychology student Ronnie Steadman has today revealed his decision to simply ‘give up’ for Lent.

While national crisis grips the UK, as people struggle to choose what to pretend to give up in the run up to Easter, Ronnie has taken it upon himself to give up all together and save himself the hassle.

The last straw, he explained to The Whip, was receiving exam feedback yesterday after a particularly gruelling eight-week January. After opening the envelope he exclaimed ‘bun this’ and went home, sacking off his lecture in the process.

When questioned by The Whip about this decision, he replied simply: ‘I just fucking can’t.’

‘Listen, morality is relative and fulfilment impossible. We exist in a capitalist milieu where stupidity is rewarded and rectitude derided. How can I continue to pretend that it’s not weird when people wear V-neck t shirts or raise their hands to ask questions in seminars?

‘On top of that, my hangovers last for days, Spurs are succeeding in Europe, and no one can explain to me why Jacob Rees-Mogg is popular. None of this is right.’

Ronnie has been hailed as an icon by his fellow students, with one claiming that he’s now ‘living the dream, the rock’n’roll life baby.’

It is assumed that he shall spend his remaining days at uni lounging around in pyjamas and claiming money back from Deliveroo meals, in effect living the life of an English student.

Ed Strang