Bitcoin twat buys Audi, becomes Audi twat

A startling report has today been released in reference to the global crypto-currency boom.

The dossier was published by the UK Government’s National Office for Human Development (NOHD) which closely and meticulously monitors trends in personal character growth across the country.

It appears that an overwhelming majority of what the NOHD have coined ‘bitcoin twats’ (young people who have made unprecedented financial gains from bitcoin) are evolving in a very specific and coordinated manner.

The data in the report shows that a ‘bitcoin twat’ is highly likely to follow his/her financial gains with the purchase of an Audi automobile. The majority of ‘bitcoin twats’ are, therefore, maturing into ‘Audi twats’.

It is the strongest trend in personal development observed by the NOHD since its birth as an organisation 50 years ago. The Head of Statistics at the NOHD has likened this phenomenon to a Pokémon evolution, claiming that a bitcoin twat is as likely to become an Audi twat as a charmander is to become a charmeleon.

It is projected that this exclusive group will continue to develop in unison. The report suggests that, after graduation, the bitcoin/Audi twats will progress to ‘sales twats’ or ‘finance twats’. The NOHD will publish a progress update in a year’s time.