Radical filter philanthropist donates entire stick to fellow smoker

Bristol second year and philanthropist Jenny Duggan left passers-by speechless after donating an entire stick of filters to her mate.

In the early hours of Sunday morning, following a night out at Cosies, Jenny offered an olive branch to a friend in dire need of a cig.

‘My mate Lance and I were walking back from a night out,’ Jenny explained to The Whip.

‘After making a quick pit stop behind some Biffa bins, we decided to have a fag. But Lance realised he’d run out of filters.’

Jenny stepped in when Lance struggled to fashion a makeshift filter out of his rizla packet.

‘No one wants to see a fellow human being have to use a roach for a cig. It’s barbaric that this still goes on. Day in, day out, people are forced smoke without filters.’ Jenny began.

‘I want to see a world where every man, woman and child has the proper smoking supplies. This time, that meant giving one of my sticks to Lance. Of course, it was a move of exceptional generosity and high-mindedness on my part, but really I just did what anyone decent person would do in that situation.

‘I gave Lance a filter, and when he offered to give them back after taking one, I insisted he kept the entire row. I know, extraordinary.’

The incident has garnered an enormous political response. Already, grass-roots organisations are beginning form, such as ‘End Sticklessness Now!’, a non-profit organisation that wants to ensure every world citizen has access to filters by 2033.

‘Smokers are people too, and it’s about time governments started treating them like they was [sic],’ concurred local smoker and campaigner Russell Hamish. Disillusioned for years with the political establishment, many people like Russell are becoming mobilised for the very first time.

‘I think it was Che Guevara who said: progress isn’t an idea, it’s something we do. God knows he loved to smoke. I’m sure he’d tip his beret to Jen.’

Jordan Barker