Fresher sublets en suite to pay for HighRise ticket

Reports have reached The Whip of a James Baillie fresher who on Friday night made the snap decision to sublet her en suite bathroom, in order to pay for a ticket to the Beaverworks HighRise event. 

Sources have confirmed that Tabatha Longlegs – who hadn’t even heard of drum and bass until last week – was “absolutely fucking terrified” of missing out on a night consisting of “fast beats, dirty riddims and disco biscuits”.

We caught up with the bleary-eyed Tabatha this morning, at the latter end of her two-day hangover:

“So I got to chatting to this guy at pres before PROJEKT and he told me about a club called Beaverworks. I checked out the lineup and I saw B2B was playing who I’d seen all over the festival scene this summer. At this point I really had to get my hands on a ticket.”

Being the first HighRise of the year, tickets weren’t going cheap, but business-savvy Tabatha came up with an ingenious solution.

“Subletting the bathroom was a spur of the moment thing: I saw online that an Oxley student was looking for somewhere to stay at weeknights to shorten the uni commute, and I thought ‘here’s my chance!'” 

Her new role as landlady allowed Tabatha to charge the Oxley resident for a deposit, and then buy a HighRise ticket for a fever-inducing £53. 

The entrepreneurial second year who sold her the extortionately priced ticket attributed his success to Donald Trump’s 1987 bestseller The Art of the Deal.