List of people who can laugh at you exercising now not limited to gym alone
The recent instalment of huge glass windows and the repositioning of exercise machines to face Tyndall Avenue means that finally even those too lazy to enter the gym can laugh at you for being the unfit, worthless piece of shit you are.
While the previous layout of the University of Bristol’s Sports Centre was built to limit visibility to those inside, the new design means that undergraduates are now subject to observation by the entirety of the external world every time they want to do a little bit of cardio.
The Whip made contact with a university spokesperson eager to explain the refurbishment. “We wanted to use the gym renovation to create a more embarrassing environment for our students” Sylvia Turnpike explained. “We liked the fact the ones that try to exercise look like total tits in front of the more active ones. We really did. But then we had an idea: why not kick things up a notch?”
Unfortunately, not all undergraduates are as ecstatic about the revamp. One breathless third year commented:
“I signed up for a gym membership because of all the new equipment and my desire to finally get fit” he explained. “At first I thought I was just getting odd looks from those inside the gym, but then I noticed the group of lads outside peering in through the glass. The windows are just so perfectly placed for people to point and laugh.”
With Tyndall Avenue now destined to become a bigger attraction than Bristol Zoo, it remains to be seen what the renovation will mean for Bristol students in the long-term.
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness
- 4‘The Noise Pages’ takes matters into their own hands, burns down High Kingsdown
- 5‘It’s just a friend mum!’: student dropped off in Redland moves seamlessly from family car into back seat of black BMW