Hyde Park slackliners found foraging for nuts and attention in preparation for winter-long hibernation
A pack of slackliners has been spotted scurrying around Hyde Park shrubbery searching for any last remnants of attention before their 7-month hibernation period commences.
Zoologically categorised as homo-slacklinus, the nimble-toed acrobats gain most of their nutrients in a similar way to plants.
However, rather than relying on the Sun’s energy and photosynthesis, it appears most survive on a less readily available source: the lime-light.
After accumulating a sufficient amount of attention to last the winter months, the slackliners will soon begin burrowing deep underneath the tennis courts to nest.
The Whip’s was able to hunt down Kenny Tricks, alpha male of the so-called ‘SlackPack’, for a statement.
“We’ve had one of our best summers yet,” noted Kenny, emerging from a pile of autumn leaves.
“At least five people slightly slowed down their walking pace to see what we were up to, and another told us to we looked ‘fairly good’ at it.”
Kenny concluded by explaining plans to grow his dreads long enough to use as a new ‘totally organic’ slackline, before scampering off in the direction of a tree formation perfect for getting people to ‘briefly glance at us repeatedly fall off a stretch of green nylon and laugh’.
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