Ambitious student attempts to roast entire hog on George Foreman grill

Reports have emerged of a headstrong student who last night attempted to prepare a three-course boar banquet using exclusively a George Foreman grill.

A trusty sidekick and reliable companion, George Foreman grills are behemoths of student cuisine; and until last night it was assumed no task was too daunting for the low-fat frying machine.

Speaking to The Whip, History student Jeremy Leaf reveals how he’d wanted to treat his housemates to an evening of fine dining, court jesters and mead; but that his initial optimism left him disappointed. 

“It calls itself a multipurpose grill, and that’s exactly how I intended to use it,” exclaimed the Hyde Park resident, dripping with sweat and flecked with pork fat.

“I’d mastered a ham and cheese toasty, so I assumed a three course banquet was the natural progression for my pork-based meals. 

“The George Foreman website promises restaurant quality; all I got was dry pork, soggy roast potatoes and a brief – albeit substantial – electric shock.”

Gaining exclusive access, The Whip was able to speak to George Foreman himself for a comment:

“He must have been using the wrong model”, explained Mr. Foreman, comfortably grilling an oxen on his NXT3000.

“There is nothing my grills can’t do, and if you dare question my power then you will feel my wrath… I am the Low-Fat King, do not contest me!”

After this, The Whip was forcibly removed from the premises.

Looking ahead, The Whip understands Jeremy Leaf will be more cautious with his grilling attempts, but confirms he would still recommend a George Foreman to a friend.