Versatile DramSoc director stars in own show, gives glowing review, and gets with self at after party

This week, celebrated student, artiste, and all-round casanova Paul Danvers directed and starred in the new DramSoc smash-hit “Ex”. However, the creative has courted controversy over the past few days after it emerged that he not only reviewed his own show in Epigram under a pseudonym, but also shared a moment of passion with himself at the one-man after party.

In the review, Paul declared that the show “had made the ‘5 Star’ reviewing system obsolete”. So The Whip caught up with Paul to get the bottom-line on these controversies and to pick his brains on what it feels like to be at the centre of Bristol’s drama scene.

“It’s bullshit mate. As an actor, it’s pretty easy for me to get in the headspace of one of those pencil-pusher critic-nerds and be objective with criticism. A critic is just another role, a role to which I brought gravitas and impartiality. “Ex” deserved every one of those 15 Stars I awarded it.”

Paul continued, eager to clarify about the rumours concerning his behaviour at the show’s afterparty, “The drama community is, effectively, a hermetically sealed bubble where we all cast, direct, review and bang our friends constantly.

“The avant-garde in me said, Paul, you’ve already directed, starred in and reviewed your own show. What new ground is left to break? What more can ‘Paul’ do to push boundaries with this solo collaboration in a meaningful, artistic way?

“And then it hit me – I went one step further by sharing a fiery kiss with my own hand at the after-party. And thus I added another avant garde string to my groundbreaking bow.

“I’ve got nice hands, I’ve always thought so. When my friend whipped out the nail polish so I could have an edgier look before the party… well, I looked down and my hand looked, in a word, ravishing.

“I couldn’t resist to be honest. It started as art, but now, to our surprise”, he said, glancing down at his right hand, “We think it’s perhaps turning into something more.”

Paul paused for a second, a mischievous glint in his eye. He put his hand behind his back as he leant in and whispered:

“It was even hotter when I thought about how that hand I was slobbering over had just written such a subtle and moving depiction of teenage angst. We’re actually performing together tonight at The White Bear, I’m doing spoken word while she does shadow puppetry – it’s gonna be so hot.”