Law student more likely to get training contract than Law Ball ticket

In the wake of immense queuing, it has come to light that a
Law student is more likely to land a training contract than to score a place at
their society Winter Ball.

Many are aware of the law student’s reckoning of attaining a
post-graduate training contract. The intrepid gauntlet of networking, aptitude
tests, and LinkedIn frightens many and is complained about by all.

However, these trials pale in comparison to scoring a seat
at the Law-Ball-dinner table. The Ball is set to take place in the Passenger
Shed, with a capacity of roughly 600, and is one of several Balls throughout
the year – so it is, understandably, a highly competitive application process.

Today, a three-mile orderly queue could be seen lining the
walls of Wills Memorial building. Every aspiring lawyer was gathered there, all
sharing the dream of a three-figure salary and a ticket to the rib-ticklingly themed
‘Winter Wonkyland’ Ball.

The Whip spoke to
an optimistic queuer camped on the Wills steps this morning. She had pitched
her tent in the early hours of three days ago, and was excited for the big day.

“It’s honestly like Glasto, but better. What does Glasto
have that the ‘Winter Wonkyland’ doesn’t? Coldplay. But that’s it. Just Chris
Martin and a bunch of UCL nerds? Doesn’t sound very wonky to me.

“No I don’t have a training contract yet,” continued the
uncultured girl, “But that’ll be a walk in the park compared to this. Easier
than a walk in the park actually, a walk in the park and I’m wearing Heely’s.
Oh, and the park is actually one big, very-employable slide. Yeah, it’ll be
like that.”

With the dinner tickets entirely sold out after today, it is
inevitable that many law students will have been left disappointed. One such
student was too late to the queue, as he had only been let into Motion to watch
Bicep a few hours earlier.