May forgets to upload Brexit proposal to both eBart and Turnitin

Prime Minister Theresa May has tumbled into political turmoil after she failed to upload her 558-page draft Brexit proposal to both eBart and Turnitin. 

Claiming not to have read the updated ‘Academic Honesty Module’ in her latest briefing, and after struggling with the new government system, Mrs May submitted her work several minutes late of the deadline.

The disastrous news follows what appeared to be a successful seminar on Wednesday night. Citing “sheer stupidity”, both Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab and Pensions Secretary Esther McVey have resigned over the matter.

During his press conference Mr Raab appeared distressed. “She hadn’t even exported it as a PDF,” he fumed, “and I’m pretty sure it was way over the word count anyway, there was no chance in hell what she submitted would work”.

Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn has mocked the PM’s mistake, describing himself as “a real whiz-kid with the computers”. He claims his Brexit proposal would be “for the many coursework systems, not just for the few.” 

The mistake marks another devastating blow to the government’s Brexit plan.

Jean-Claude Jüncker, President of the European Commission, has promised that the UK will face penalties for failing to submit its plan correctly. “As you know, all work submitted late is to be capped at 40%,” he remarked smugly.

“That means Britain will get 40% of its current trade agreements, 40% of EU citizens’ rights, and yes, 40% of Northern Ireland”.