Anger and confusion after tutor meeting doesn’t result in fully formed, intellectually independent first-class essay

Second year English student Penelope Bowl has got in touch with The Whip today, to share her experience of an unsatisfactory meeting with a tutor.

With her mid-term essay deadline soon approaching, Miss Bowl was hoping to come out of the 20 minute consultation with a well formulated argument that demonstrated exceptional insight into the question, was innovative and critical in its analysis and showed awareness of the nuanced nature of the topic at hand.

Instead, Penelope left with a feeling of dismay and incomprehension, and more questions than she arrived with.

Catching up with the work-shy student, The Whip heard her version of events:

“It’s ridiculous,” seethed Penelope, scouring online student forums to find another answer to her essay. “If I can take the time out of my day to go and visit my tutor, they may as well have the grace to give me exactly what I want.

“She said she wanted to know my opinion,’ Penelope continued. “Fuck my opinion, I want a first.”

This is not the first case of students feeling alarmed by the amount of independent study expected from the University. Just last week an unsuspecting first year stormed out of a Politics seminar after being told he had to give a presentation.

Speaking
to The Whip, the boy had this to say:

“I pay nine grand a year for this, and they’re making me teach the class. I mean my tutorial leader literally wrote the book on black emancipation and the civil rights movement from Jim Crow to Obama. And they expect me to teach it better than her. Do they not get the concept of education?”

With
regards to Penelope Bowl, The Whip understands
that she’s managed to purloin an essay plan off a course mate and hopes that if
she changes enough of the words the tutor won’t notice. We wish her well!