Lecturer who sets his own texts as reading caught masturbating at reflection in toilets

A University of Exeter lecturer has been suspended after he was discovered  masturbating in front of a mirror in library toilets, The Whip can reveal.

Calvin Becker, a lecturer in the Department of Classics and Ancient History department, was allegedly a “popular and well-liked figure” in the department, although this admission was taken from a self-made plaque on his office door.

Mr. Becker was discovered committing the act on Friday afternoon by scarred fresher Rahul Chhetri, who The Whip approached for comment: “It was the most bizarre thing, after three Costa breaks in one hour of work I needed to take a leak, but I went in and just saw this guy pleasuring himself in there.”

“He had his eyes fixed on his reflection, and every now and again would look down and read out loud a passage about poetry in Augustan Rome from a book with a big picture of his face on the front. It was very weird, I’m just hoping these qualify me for mitigation, in which case it’ll be a nice happy ending.”

Students enrolled in Mr. Becker’s module were not surprised at this behaviour, however, as Claire Brooker attested to: “At first he asked us to read his book, which was reasonably useful, but things just spiraled from there.”

“In Week 3 he made us read his entire Twitter feed and we got extra marks if we followed him,” continued a visibly baffled Claire, “and the week after that he brought in an old family photo album and set an essay on how cute he used to be. The guy’s an egomaniac and, honestly, wasn’t even that cute a kid.”

Mr. Becker was approached for comment, but The Whip’s approach was rebuffed after he requested that the content of the article was solely pictures from his modelling portfolio.