Student attends first lecture of the year, disappointed by lack of real time 2x speed feature

First year history student Jared Nicholls this morning received a shock after attending his first – and last – lecture of term. The undergraduate was reportedly dumbfounded to learn that he would have to sit through his whole Introduction to Medieval England lecture in real time.

Exeter’s ‘Electronic Learning Environment’ offers an online service for ‘recapping’ lectures, designed so students can re-watch lectures online after attending them. Recent research, however, suggests that 88% of lectures are only watched once, online, one week before an exam.

Jared relayed his agony to a reporter from The Whip. “It was getting towards the end of term and I thought, fuck it, I haven’t been to campus yet, I’ll push the boat out a bit. I went to the lecture and noticed that the lecturer was speaking kinda slow and in a really deep voice, and then it hit me: I was actually going to have to sit through the whole hour!

“It’s 2018,” continued Jared, “is it that unrealistic to expect my lecturer to bend the laws of the universe so we can get the lecture  over with more quickly? I’m a pretty clever guy, so I realised pretty early on that if I watch the lectures online, I can do important stuff at the same time – like Fifa, or order Deliveroo, or pre for Friday TP. It’s multitasking!”

Jared’s personal tutor was approached for comment on whether or not Jared’s lack of attendance had affected his grades, to which Dr. Ellen Latimer replied: “I literally have no idea who that is.”