This QC-in-waiting is unequivocally better than you in almost every way.

After a recent opinion poll completed by all its members, the UoB Law Society has confirmed that 80% of Law students believe they are ‘simply better’ than all other students.

On account of their degree, which 90% declared ‘significantly harder’ than any other offered at University of Bristol, Law students believe they should be granted privileged access to University facilities.

The Law Soc is reportedly set to publish a number of demands, including – but not limited to – a raised-up and curtained-off VIP area in the Wills Memorial Library; priority seats in all other University libraries; and free black coffee from all Source cafes.

The society is applying additional pressure to create a Faculty of Law recognised independently from the Faculty of Social Sciences. A representative behind the secessionist pressure has stressed that Law students need ‘more control over their own destiny’ and that ‘the Social Sciences need Law more than we need them’.

Plans to hold a faculty-based referendum on ‘Lexit’ have been proposed.