King Arthur returns to saved seat in ASS library after fifteen centuries

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This morning, the familiar monotony of Bristol’s most infamous study space was disturbed as Arthur, the 5th-century warrior King, strode into the ASS library to finally return to his seat. He was reportedly forced to sign in manually (due to the expiry of his U-card) before making his way up to the second floor to return to his desk, where his large red cloak and set of chainmail had been placed fifteen centuries before.

The desk – in prime position overlooking Tyndall Avenue and accompanied by a swivel-y chair – was littered with no less than seven green ‘Taking a Break?’ cards. Despite the instructions on these cards, the knight’s quills and parchment had not been moved aside for other students.

According to students on the scene, Arthur’s eventual return was greeted with disapproving eye-rolls, tuts, and a shout of “about time you fucking wanker”.

“Legends state that the King would return from Avalon to reclaim his throne when Britain needed him most,” Medieval English student Sophie told The Whip “and given the dire state of the economy and Brexit, it’s not surprising that he’s chosen now.”

There is conflict among historians, however, as to why the legendary knight has chosen to first return to his seat in the library. The leading theory is that (as with most students) inciting political revolution and overthrowing the government comes second only to securing a high 2:1.

A reporter from The Whip attempted to approach King Arthur for comment, but was forced by an angry librarian to respect the second floor’s silence policy.

 

Luke Cox