Amidst widespread international condemnation for his actions since the start of his term, President Trump this morning issued another striking legal diktat, this time for two large pizzas from delivery firm Domino’s.

It is understood the pizzas were topped with various sausages, chicken fillets and lashings of BBQ sauce, perhaps a tip to the 45th President’s intended legacy as the most macho executive since Theodore Roosevelt.

The billionaire allegedly issued the presidential decree during Prime Minister Theresa May’s state visit.

A recent casualty in Mr Trump’s swamp draining mission has revealed that the two leaders decided to discuss their geo-political issues over the pizzas and a 6 box of Chicken Kickers.

The Washington whistle-blower contacted The Whip Wednesday evening.

“I was just finishing some filing for the Oval Office, when I stumbled across the President and PM walking down the corridor giggling with a piece of paper that had his signature on it. About half an hour later, I heard the buzzer for the gate go off. I picked up, and it was an order for a takeaway.

“Obviously I was intrigued who would need the food, seeing as the White House employs several round-the clock chefs. When popped outside to the Jackie Kennedy Garden I saw Mrs May running inside with a big Domino’s box, laughing mischievously again.

“When I went back to the office to finish my work off, I found the executive order lying on the desk in the Oval Office.

“Of course, the handwriting was totally illegible, but you could make out the general vibe of the order.

“By the looks of it, Donald somehow strong-armed Domino’s into paying for the delivery”.

 

Luke Stafford