A group of eight Redland housemates have today come to The Whip to express their utter astonishment that Edward Dudlam, their new 93 year old neighbour, does not share their love for heavy, repetitive techno.

After celebrating their successful move into their new home in the popular student area with a 16-hour upper rave, it became apparent that Mr Dudlam did not, in fact, favour the works of artists such as Bicep, Denis Sulta and Midland.

‘We were playing some absolute bangers and it was only 3am,’ lead tenant Aaron Rhys told The Whip, ‘but all he kept doing was knocking on the door and telling us to turn that shit off.

‘We were pretty gobsmacked to be honest, we didn’t know what to think. How can he possibly live in Bristol and not be into techno? Plus, he lives in fucking Redland – we just assumed everyone was sound.

‘I guess he’s probably more of a deep house guy? Yeah, that’ll be it.’

The Whip approached Mr Dudlam for a statement.

‘I was a roadie with the Stones for nearly a decade so I quite welcome being able to hear any music,’ Mr Dudlam said in a statement, ‘that absolute shite though? I much preferred the metalhead emos last year.

‘Let me tell you, a couple of grams of that horse tranquilizer bullshit and a few stripes? They need to grow up’

Luke Cox