The Department of Economics, Finance and Management announced this week that the course structures of many of its undergraduate programmes are to change for the 2018/19 academic year.

Most notably, the current joint honours bachelors degree ‘Economics and Finance’ is to be reformatted into a brand new course: ‘Advanced Nepotism’.

‘It’s just much more in line with what we think this course is all about’, Professor James Bartley, the current programme director, told The Whip.

‘Anyone enrolling in this nasty b2b of fire and fury is basically a blood-sucking demi-capitalist, fully intent on spending three years waiting for a job at one of their parents’ enormous conglomerates. There’s no point denying it anymore.’

When asked if the new course title might sound a little elitist, Professor Bartley simply replied with: ‘Exactly!’

It is understood that as well as having a new name, the course will now offer an updated range of compulsory units as well as a larger variety of optional subjects in the second and third years.

Undergraduates in the 2018 cohort will be able to enjoy ground breaking new 10 and 20 credit modules including ‘Bathing in the Blood of the Worthless Proletariat’, ‘What’s The NHS? How Can We Destroy It?’ and even a group project called ‘Signet Rings Are Cool’.

Further to the internal restructure, The Whip understands that the current entry requirements of A*AA or equivalent are to be scrapped in place of ‘a home counties postcode, shares in Exxon Mobil and a hereditary sense of entitlement and superiority.’

Charlie Meyrick

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