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Le Pen slinks back into pencil case

After a decisive loss in the second round of the French elections far right candidate Marine Le Pen has largely disappeared from the public...

Macron and Trudeau in run-off election for most devilishly handsome French-speaking...

President-elect of France Emmanuel Macron and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will go head-to-head in a special international vote to decide which of the...

Conservative Party releases manifesto, swarm of locusts

Handpicked journalists and Conservative party activists were impressed Wednesday afternoon after the joint unveiling of the party manifesto and a horde of one hundred...

Ex-state school student accidentally attends University of Bristol ski trip

Following the University of Bristol's Ski Trip to Les Deux Alps 3200 one distressed student got in touch with The Whip. The first-year, who...

Eton issues leavers UoB starter pack: tracksuit, gold chain, DJ decks

Eton College has reportedly commenced the issuing of A-level students with a ‘starter pack’ for their arrival at the University of Bristol as part...

Students more likely to be struck by lightning en route to...

In a breaking report from the MET Office it has emerged that students at the University of Bristol have more chance of being thrashed...

Student with uncracked phone screen deemed ‘too organised’ for friends

A second year student has been rejected by her entire social circle after it came to light that her smartphone screen is intact. French student...

Freshers blinded by floodlights at Gravity’s ‘Lit Monday’

Gravity, previously of ‘Bunker’ fame, suffered an unprecedented PR disaster at their inaugural student night on Monday as their literal interpretation of the term...

Interview: UoB post-grad confirms FemSoc ‘absolutely crawling with gash’

A postgraduate student at the University of Bristol has revealed he joined the Feminist Society to ‘meet women’. Unaware of the organisation’s purpose, the...

Fresher devastated as Nigerian Prince fails to send Tokyo World ticket

A Bristol fresher has been left inconsolable after a Prince from Nigeria renegaded on his promise to send her a Tokyo World ticket. Daphne Carter-Pembroke...