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Durdham freshers issued with lifetime supply of single condom

Just one single ribbed condom will suffice.

BREAKING: fresher commits to more than 600 societies

In a horrifying attempt to get involved with University life and ‘take every opportunity that arises’ Badock fresher Samantha Gregory this afternoon rampantly put...

First overeager fresher arrives at Motion

'Haha no, but seriously, I'm sure all of my future mates in Clifton Hill House will be doing the same soon.'

Nicola Sturgeon promises second once in a lifetime Scottish independence referendum

Nicola Sturgeon, in an original and unprecedented political move, has today announced plans for a second ‘once in a lifetime’ Scottish independence referendum. It is...

Theresa May: ‘Hi there, I’d like to order some opposition please?’

Prime Minister Theresa May has been caught by senior staff attempting to order in "some kind of opposition" to the Cabinet Office Sunday evening. The...

Leaked Hunt memo reveals NHS crisis solution: futons

A leaked dossier from the office of Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has placed futons at the centre of government plans to...

Refugees refuse to work for tax-dodging Starbucks

After a valiant pledge to hire 10,000 new workers to help the refugee crisis, Starbucks’ history of tax-avoidance has once again become a subject...

Final Brexit Bill to be written in Comic Sans

Prime Minister Theresa May has confirmed plans to publish the final bill which will activate Article 50 and begin the process of the UK...

Trump denounces 10-year-old son Barron

Donald Trump has publicly denied the existence of his ten year old son in a shocking outburst during a routine White House press conference....