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Previously ambitious second year admits to fate of low 2:1

There are emerging reports that Philosophy student Elena Hands, 20, has finally given in to her inevitable destiny of achieving only about 63 or...

Perfectly capable mark-stealing wanker gets extra time

Emerging confident from yet another effortless three and a half hour examination, Bristol University Chemistry student Hannah Jacobs, 20, insisted that her 25% additional...

Durdham chronic virginity epidemic continues

Reports from the University suggest that the outbreak of virginity in Durdham has reached epidemic levels, with almost all students in the Stoke Bishop...

Economics exam rescheduled to Temple Meads, platform 6

Unsatisfied with only inconveniencing students with an exam at Temple Meads, the Economics faculty went one infuriating step further by relocating 'Introduction to Quantitative...

Baffled psychologists investigate LSTD attendee who hasn’t uploaded Instagram photo

A heartbreaking cognitive analysis has been launched by a team of 'totally mystified' clinical psychologists into a Love Saves the Day reveller who failed to...

Brexit cancelled after Redland student erects EU flag

In a shock change of national direction, Prime Minister Theresa May announced Wednesday morning that Brexit has been 'totally, unilaterally scrapped' after the hanging of...

Labour ahead in polls after groundbreaking student Facebook status

  Jeremy Corbyn’s marked increase in recent polls is entirely down to the furious Facebook presence of a 21-y ear-old Bristol student, the BBC confirmed this...

Wills Memorial building to be rebranded Sports Direct Arena

Following mounting pressure to sever the University of Bristol's ties with the slave trade, a petition was launched last week to rename the Wills...