Tinder users devastated to leave EU singles market

‘I haven’t had sex since 1973'

Theresa May: ‘Hi there, I’d like to order some opposition please?’

Prime Minister Theresa May has been caught by senior staff attempting to order in "some kind of opposition" to the Cabinet Office Sunday evening. The...

Stoke Bishop Stories stoked to show Stoke’s Bishop’s Stoke Bishop visit

'We’re absolutely stoked' commented Simon Stokes.

Trump presidency ‘totally worth it’ for four years of easy small-talk, Americans confirm

A breaking post-election poll has confirmed that 87% of Americans are now satisfied with the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency on the basis...

UKIP vows to send African dust storm back to where it came from

‘I want to literally get rid of foreign muck.'

Desperate master’s applicant turns to Howard Webb as academic referee

'Who has better judgement than the 2010 FIFA World Cup final ref?'

Raul Castro: Fidel ‘probably not that gutted’ to have Missed Black Friday 2016

Fidel's brother and current Cuban President Raul Castro has spoken on the significance of El Commandante's passing on his favourite commercial holiday: Black Friday....

Leaked Hunt memo reveals NHS crisis solution: futons

A leaked dossier from the office of Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has placed futons at the centre of government plans to...

Local man not sure if he hates career politicians or Korea politicians more

As 2016 draws to a close the quality of news at The Whip may continue to diminish at an impressive rate. To keep filling...