Researchers use carbon dating to trace hundreds of students’ opinions back to the same Guardian article
THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.
Students spoilt for choice as ‘How was your Easter?’, ‘How’s revision going?’, and ‘Any plans for summer?’ all viable small talk options
Students have been left abound with meaningless conversations starters.
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 4Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation
- 5Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness