Wills Memorial building to be rebranded Sports Direct Arena

Following mounting pressure to sever the University of Bristol’s ties with the slave trade, a petition was launched last week to rename the Wills Memorial Building.

Whilst those who initiated the petition may not have expected it to reach further than the West Country, billionaire retail entrepreneur Mike Ashley has seen this as an opportunity for promotion.

Since the tragic affair in Newcastle in 2011 – in which St James’ Park was briefly and unsuccessfully colonised as the Sports Direct Arena – Ashely has been hungry for a new site.

Yesterday, the University of Bristol received a ‘very serious, seven-figure offer’ to completely rebrand the iconic building, according to our sources.

‘, UK’s Number 1’ is reportedly to be engraved on the front of the building.

Negotiations are ongoing, but the presence of a ‘closing down’ sign is expected to be included in the deal, to remain ‘in keeping with the national brand’. has released this statement: ‘we are hugely excited to get involved in the community, and especially to become a part of the collective cover-up and denial of Bristol’s controversial past’.

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