Brexit cancelled after Redland student erects EU flag
In a shock change of national direction, Prime Minister Theresa May announced Wednesday morning that Brexit has been ‘totally, unilaterally scrapped’ after the hanging of an EU flag from a Bristol student house window.
The flag, erected Monday afternoon by Remainer Clemmie Winderlow, 21, was spotted by road workers on the adjacent Hampton Road in the early hours of Tuesday.
According to the Guardian, Downing Street was thereafter informed of the banner by Redland council authorities as a matter of ‘utmost urgency’.
The Whip spoke to Bristol Councillor Anthony Megus (Labour) at the scene.
‘Of course, the United Kingdom’s vote to leave the European Union last summer sent shockwaves through the international political landscape. It was an astonishing, unprecedented result that challenged the post-war consensus of liberal democracy and globalisation.
‘Indeed, as negotiations to leave the union got fully underway the issue came to dominate our national discourse. No-one really had any idea what kind of deal we would receive or which rights expatriates might be guaranteed. Of particular concern was the global economy as the markets have been extremely volatile recently – especially since the announcement of the General Election.
‘It was an extraordinary relief, therefore, when I was informed by pavement contractors in lower Redland that Ms Winderlow had decided to hang one of those EU flags from her bedroom window. A number of bookkeepers had suspended betting on her doing so, but it still took everyone in Whitehall and Brussels by surprise.
‘Negotiations have been cancelled upon the orders of a discreetly ecstatic prime minister, and we will Remain. But really, it’s all thanks to Clemmie. The international community is forever indebted to this young lady. She has an enormous future ahead of her.
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form