“Dammit! We shoulda sold hats!” Clinton Realises Fatal Campaign Error

Leaked information from the Clinton campaign in the aftermath of her unprecedented defeat in the 2016 Presidential Election suggests not selling baseball caps was crucial to her Presidency bid failure. Her Husband, Bill, let slip in an interview that he had identified from an early stage that baseball caps were “the missing ingredient” and that her refusal to administer her own “Stronger Together” hats had been “a source of tension” for months.

It appears the Democrat candidate has realised the error of her ways, as a source has claimed a new design team has already been commissioned to create all-new campaign caps that will first go on sale in 2018, before she begins her third attempt at capturing the White House.

President-elect Trump spent over $15m on his famous campaign merchandise, and not just to support the career of his daughter Ivanka, who he claimed was the only person he could trust to successfully design the caps. In fact, it appears the caps were essential in his connection with the American people.

Whip writer met with some of his supporters.

“The fact that I could help to make America great again just by purchasing one of these baseball caps really appealed to me,” said one proud wearer of the Trump campaign hat. “Donald understands the American people – we wanna be on the same team, we wanna show it with our merchandise and we wanna hate everyone on the other team.”

Let’s hope Hillary’s hats are a bit more shapely.


Luke Stafford

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