‘I’ll buy you a drink in there’ lies fare-dodging taxi prick

Four people also asked to borrow rizlas.

A Bristol fresher today revealed the trauma of paying for a stranger’s taxi ride.

It appears the unknown student took the taxi with the freshman, but left without contributing his portion of the fare. After contacting The Whip, the Hiatt Baker first year explained, in detail, how her evening unfolded.

‘We all piled into a pre-booked cab and this random guy just jumped into the front seat. He said his name was Steve Stephens, which immediately made me suspicious,’ he began.

‘Like my grandad always told me, never trust a fart after a curry and never trust a man with two first names.

‘Anyway, he said some other stuff too but it was usually pretty racist. After we set off I was collecting the funds when this guy asked if I could spot him as he didn’t have cash. He promised me a drink instead – prick. To make matters worse he then took the aux and starting pumping out his own SoundCloud mixes. No one was having a good time.

‘We arrived at Motion and I asked him for the drink – a virgin White Russian. He said “yeh sure mate”, turned, and crip walked into the crowd, gun fingers aloft. We never saw him again. I informed a bouncer what had happened but he laughed in my face and told me to fuck off.

‘Well, the joke’s on him cos I definitely saw someone snorting marijuana that night – I was like “ha ha do your job properly you fuckin’ loser!” Well, I didn’t say that to his face but I definitely thought it. I probably couldn’t beat him in a fight but I had the moral high ground, which is what matters.’

The fresher also revealed that four people had asked to borrow rizzlas in the smoking area but were yet return them.

‘I offered them my bank details so they could repay me but no one accepted my offer. Well, that’s the last bloody time I offer anyone anything at all! Whatever next, filters too? Why not just take the shoes off my feet while you’re at it! In fact, here’s my student loan as well, go wild! I calculated that I lost at least £2.67 that night. Disgraceful.’

The Whip tried to contact some of his friends for further comment, but unsurprisingly discovered that he didn’t have any.

Ed Strang

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