Third year dresses up as own terrifying employment prospects for Halloween

‘I just thought to myself, what leaves me feeling really on edge?’

Disclaimer: Some readers may find the content of this story upsetting.

Final year Economics student Tom Gregory successfully cast terror into the hearts of revellers on Saturday night after attending Blast dressed as his own deathly, excruciating post-graduate career.

Reports emerged that a hagged figure, grasping pitifully to an internship prospectus and a bottle of white ace, was heard wailing like a banshee about youth unemployment rates in the UK.

The Whip caught up with Tom to find out exactly what inspired this year’s scariest outfit.

‘I just thought to myself, what leaves me feeling really on edge? What fills me with nauseating dread and makes me want to curl up in a corner and frantically recite passages from the New Testament?

‘It’s not zombies, or vampires. And it’s certainly not sexy cat nurses with those shitty contact lens things.

‘Then I thought to myself – I might as well dress up as my own career prospects.’

It transpires that Tom’s fancy dress made quite an impression on other students during their Halloween night out.

Phoebe, a second year, lamented that the the entire thing was, ‘Truly, very horrible.’

She continues, ‘We were all just having a laugh at Lola’s. Then suddenly we were faced with this writhing spectre of hopelessness.’

‘I don’t even know how he managed to dress up as Jobseeker’s Allowance, crippling debt and the futility of an arts degree all at once.’

When asked whether Tom felt as if he may have overstepped the mark with his costume choice, he responded with the statement, ‘next year I’m going to come as “The UK’s GDP Post Brexit”, then you’ll see what’s messed up. Idiots.’

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