Taka Taka, Mocha Mocha and Sandwich Sandwich undergo high profile triple merger

Say hello to new FTSE 100 mega firm ‘Taka Mocha Sandwich’

In a move that has left market analysts completely stunned Greek-style dining sector giants Taka Taka PLC today announced the double acquisition of fellow popular Bristol eateries Mocha Mocha and Sandwich Sandwich. The halloumi-fuelled financial monolith is set to buy up and merge assets with both restaurants, triggering the birth of new FTSE 100 mega firm “Taka Mocha Sandwich”.

The Whip caught up with CEO Stephanos Anastopoulos.

‘Taka Mocha Sandwich represents the highest incarnation of the Taka journey. You see, we weren’t happy merely selling mouth-watering Greek cuisine on the Clifton Triangle. Our goal has always been the complete monopolisation of the double-barrelled student dining market.

‘We knew that having the same name twice was a piece of marketing genius, and our rivals across the university precinct had clearly cottoned on.

‘This left us no choice but to financially bulldoze all opposition.’

It is understood that Taka Taka PLC swept up both other franchises in a deal estimated to be in the region of £125 million and patented the snappy new triple-barrelled name for a further thirty million.

The reaction among students has been seismic.

‘This is fantastic!’ says Jemima, a first year Sociology student at the University of Bristol.

‘I now no longer have to make the impossible decision of where to go for three hours each lunchtime as a form of elaborate and delicious procrastination.

‘Mocha Mocha always did the yummiest coffees, and Sandwich Sandwich had more or less got the whole “sandwich” thing nailed.

‘But neither place had that cool Greek music or guys with great beards saying stuff like “hummus is an extra 50p” – and that was always a huge pull factor about Taka.

‘I’m really excited to finally be able to sit down with my course mates and talk about feminism and cultural appropriation over a bacon, cheese and tahini Magic Roll™ with a skinny caramel latte on the side!’

Taka Mocha Sandwich will open five new branches over the next month, and is set to begin trading as TakMoSandEquity – share value £147.29 – at the start of the next quarter.

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