Third year gobsmacked after using self-service book loan machine for first time

“It’s a phenomenal system!”

In a moment of unexpected euphoria, third year Philosophy student Freya Williams was yesterday astonished to discover the sophistication of the UoB issue self-service book loan system.

The Clifton resident has written an open letter to her peers to explain just how and why she was so deeply impressed.

As a virtuous medium of communication for the student community, The Whip has agreed to publish her remarks.

Students of the University of Bristol,

I am writing to share with you a tale of wondrous discovery. Taking my first book out of the ASS library has become the defining moment of my university career. The immense world of classmarks, pin numbers and library receipt emails was once unchartered territory for me. Not anymore. Let me tell you what happened.

After choosing to do a Philosophy dissertation so obscure that the internet could offer only one article, I was forced to trudge to the ASS, disheartened at the prospect of having to find actual books amongst the profusion of shelving.

Once I’d found them (don’t those classmarks make your life easier?!) I carried my sorry stack downstairs.

I must admit, it wasn’t all plain sailing. My road to enlightenment was initially blocked by the pin. Did I have one? Where do I get one? Was my future as a career philosopher about to be scuppered by a measly, insignificant, four-digit number?

But, the kind-hearted librarian behind the desk saved the day and looked up my number… not all heroes wear capes.

I punched in the number, shaking with anticipation. I was ready to scan my books.

As instructed, I placed my items on the grey square. Then, out of nowhere, with a chorus of high-pitched ‘dings’, every single one of my books was logged to my name on the system.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. How did it know which books I’d placed there – it was truly spellbinding.

‘Witchcraft!’, I shouted. A crowd gathered round. They too were captivated by the sorcery.

I haven’t got to reading the books yet. But I’ve taken 65 more books out of the ASS since. You can keep them as long as you want without being charged, so I’m just gonna work my way through the whole collection!

Embarking on this adventure has been a life-changing experience for me, and I couldn’t recommend it more. It really is a phenomenal system that we have at our disposal!

With my sincerest sincerity,

Freya Williams

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