eBay confirms £34bn takeover of Clifton and Stoke Bishop Tickets

Revolutionising e-commerce forever.

The Whip can this morning confirm that online retail giant eBay is set to acquire the buy-and-sell Facebook page Clifton and Stoke Bishop Tickets.

The Facebook page, widely acknowledged by business commentators to be a groundbreaking and highly entrepreneurial startup, has been valued at £34 billion.

The deal was confirmed this morning by eBay CEO Devin Wenig. ‘I have absolutely no shadow of a doubt that this purchase will revolutionise e-commerce forever’ Wenig nodded earnestly when approached by The Whip.

Clifton and Stoke Bishop Tickets, often referred to as ‘Clifton Tickets’ for short, was started in 2014 by a group of students studying at Bristol University. It is currently a subsidiary of Facebook and employs 230 UK workers, who will keep their jobs under the new ownership.

The platform was originally a convenient way for students to sell each other tickets that they had bought for club nights and music concerts. It has since transitioned into a marketplace for a wide variety of goods.

Clifton Tickets has been used for selling the rooms of unwanted housemates, exotic animals and even sexual favours.

Non-student sellers also use the marketplace, and are often found attempting to shift unwanted tat and ‘accidentally’ forgetting to send tickets to buyers.

It is even host to a burgeoning comedy scene, and the origin of the hilarious ‘fake seller’ comment.

Fergus Horsfall

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