Theresa May this morning revealed first year Miles Harrop as the new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions following his ‘masterful’ eleventh-hour sending of an email template, which may just have rendered strikes unnecessary.
The decision comes as the University of Bristol finds itself in the throes of crisis, with industrial action gripping the every department.
The Whip met with Miles this morning.
‘When I saw that an email chain was being sent around, I saw a fantastic chance for intervention.’ The quick-thinking would-be statesman revealed.
‘I thought, what’s really going to show Hugh Brady the error of his ways?’
‘And that’s when it came to me – I’ll add a few lines of my own!’
‘The mistake that everybody else was making was that they were simply sending off the pasted text verbatim. It just wasn’t personal enough.
‘This required a real act of creativity.’
It is understood that the fresher’s additions included numerous emotive examples of how the strike would affect him personally.
‘Yeah, I didn’t really include much about the teachers, something to do with their pension or something? I think the real issue is that I paid for my two weekly History of Art lectures, and one of them has now been cancelled next week.’ Continued Harrop.
J W Hall