Absolute joker detained for Cotham Hill vandalism

‘Compared to Banksy this is some very creative tagging’

University Security Services were called Wednesday night to the bottom of Woodland Road, after some total joker vandalised the Cotham Hill street sign, changing the ‘C’ to a ‘G’.

The inebriated suspect, who is thought to be in first year and part of the Rugby Club, was found to be in possession of at least two sharpies and an out-of-date condom.

The Whip spoke to University Security Guard, Mike Brown.

‘We apprehended the suspect with a taser as he was editing the name of the residential road in central Bristol. Apparently, he wanted to make passers-by believe they were actually entering Gotham, the crime-ridden city of the Batman universe.’

Noting the quality of the vandalism, he added: ‘next to Banksy, this is hugely creative – very New Age. To try and change a name in this way, to something else, hasn’t really been done before. Well done, him, frankly.’

The suspect, whose identity has not been revealed, (there’s fear of retribution from Bruce Wayne) contacted The Whip anonymously.

‘It was just a bit of fun that the boys and I knocked up. Yeah sure, the taser might have made me throw up red wine all over my best sports night shirt and tie, but I firmly believe what doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.’

The motivations behind the act remain unclear, and it is unknown what the vandal may have done next, had he not been caught.

Avon and Somerset Police have expressed their gratitude to the University for catching the student before he could cover the ASS library with playing cards or blow up any hospitals to confirm his ‘joker’ status.

Regardless, this prankster will go down in the annals of history as having some trailblazing and disruptive craic.

The case continues.

Ben Hambro

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