After a gruelling legal battle the UK Supreme Court today announced undergraduate law students are not, despite all their claims to the contrary, real lawyers, and should not self-label as such.
The decision has sparked a furious reaction from once-smug law students, many of whom have been known to insist on giving tenancy agreements a ‘once over’ and unsolicited legal advice about the possible ramifications of being caught with drugs in the Motion queue.
One eye-witness reported ‘unbridled anarchy’ in the Wills Memorial Library, as outraged students flipped tables, chairs and statute books upon hearing the ruling.
The Whip caught up with second year student Jonathon Farley, who was left reeling from the news.
‘I’m distraught.’ He began.
‘I wear my suit to every lecture, drink exclusively from a Slaughter & May water bottle, and quote Lord Denning in every conversation.
‘So to find out that this doesn’t qualify me to give legal advice in a professional capacity is totally astounding.’ He continued.
‘Luckily I’ve already secured a training contract at my father’s firm, but that means at least another four years before I can practice, even though he said I’d be a great lawyer one day.’
In a legally illiterate course of action, it is understood that the chair of Bristol Law Soc will be challenging the ruling in an appeal court next year.