Social media website Facebook crashed in sensational fashion midday today for the first time in 12 years. Its servers could not cope with the tsunami of photos being processed by recently returned University of Bristol ski trippers.
In a public statement CEO Mark Zuckerburg conceded it was a ‘sad day for Facebook’ and noted that ‘although we don’t know when we’ll be back online and back to normal operations’ the difficulties have been brightened by the ‘good times those students appear to have had in the alps!’
Shares in the multinational plummeted by 6% when markets heard of the news. Investors are concerned Facebook’s systems will not be able to cope with future events of similar size, including the FIFA World Cup Final, when tons of people will be wasted, having a good time, and likely to be upload-happy or ‘fraped’.
Cameron Smith from CIG Asset Management also commented. ‘Our clients are very anxious. However, those pics did look bloody sweet. Did you see the ones where the 19-year-olds were sipping down some lager in front of a generic house DJ as per every student ski trip of the last twenty years? Or the ones where a group of mates were all looking out over a view of a valley and it was sunny? Or where some girls had taken off their tops but where facing away from the camera, arms raised, looking just wonderfully care-free? All that stuff just ticks my boxes: sweet vibes confirmed. Frankly, who cares about Facebook?’
The Whip has contacted Facebook and is waiting for a response on the matter.