A statement released by the Vatican today has been met with indignation after it was found to include a message from Pope Francis declaring that ‘God has spoken’ with regard to the many meteorologists’ prediction of sunshine on the 20th of April.
The day is one of celebration for millions of followers of cannabism, a faith which has finally received acceptance they’ve long demanded from the mainstream religions.
This is despite being perceived as ‘at odds’ with some of the teachings of the Bible. This comes just weeks after Pope Francis broke from the churches’ traditional view on marijuana consumption, decreeing that ‘stoners automatically go to heaven, say nothin. Skrttt’.
When asked to clarify his position, the pontiff insisted ‘when the almighty God looks down upon the Earth, and he is pleased with what he sees, he shines great rays upon our soils, and lets us bask in his eternal light’ he continued ‘so, go forth and do God’s bidding, but maybe don’t roll a cross joint though it might be a bit sacrilegious haha. Blaze and bless up doe.’
Francis, a native of Argentina, has become widely popular with those outside of the Christian faith during his time in the papacy, supporting a reinterpretation of much of the Catholic dogma that takes an increasingly liberal approach to crimes punishable by stoning.
‘The books are supposed to be interpreted, and we don’t throw rocks at people anymore so I guess we can just take that “being stoned” as a cue to get baked.’