‘Fail to prepare… prepare to fail’ says student confidently about to do both

A classic case.

A student has been caught getting undeserved conversational mileage out of the well-known expression ‘fail to prepare? prepare to fail!’ despite both being imminently on the cards.

The second year, observed to be participating in what some would call ‘small talk’ but others would call ‘appeasing a weird course acquaintance’, uttered the witticism under the false pretence that if he says it enough, neither event will actually happen.

Widely used at the University of Bristol, the phrase has been found to send users into uncontrollable fits of false reassurance and misplaced comfort, which has worried medical professionals up and down the country.

Despite its prevalence, the failure-based quip was proved last year to actually have no effect on the part of the brain that deals with planning, and some more recent reports suggested it completely blocked the pathways to the part of the brain that provides perspective.

More worryingly, tests produced by the University of Manchester suggested that regular repetition of the expression can, contrary to popular belief, result in increased chances of failure and decreased chances of preparation.

‘What we have here is a classic case of FPPF, fail to prepare, prepare to fail syndrome’ explained professor of Neuroscience Priscilla Scott. ‘Interestingly, people who exhibit this form of verbal communication sincerely believe that if it is said enough in a confident manner, this will in fact negate the effects of actually not doing any work.’

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