Bristol undergrad Maxine Beaker got more than she bargained for this morning after a visit to the University’s Multifaith Chaplaincy left her face-to-face with Donald Trump and Kanye West, deep in divine reverence for themselves.
The second year was seeking respite from a hellish revision schedule when she stumbled across the leader of the free world and Trump.
A shocked Beaker spoke exclusively to The Whip.
‘I was stunned,’ she began,‘after a double-double take, I realised I was in fact staring at Donald Trump and Kanye West, anointing themselves, and each other, in oil. All the while they were doing this hellish chanting, it was like they were speaking in tongues.’
‘From what I could make out from their jumbled gobbledygook, Trump was the main man at the top, and Kanye had the whole ‘Son of God’ vibe going on – a Yeezus figure, if you will.’ Beaker explained.
The true purpose of their ceremony is not yet known, but it is thought to resemble modern Christianity, with its elaborate ceremonies, mass assemblies, and hoarding of wealth better spent elsewhere.
‘Call me sceptical but I think that’s probably stretching the ‘multifaith’ aspect of the chaplaincy.’ She concluded.
Trump has issued the following response on Twitter: