Oldest known marine life found at bottom of pan ‘left to soak’

And it was just some pesto pasta.

Film director and deep sea diver James Cameron has discovered marine life dating back 4.3 billion years whilst on a deep-sea dive in a pan that was ‘soaking’.

Cameron began the solo dive submarine dive with the aim of again reaching the bottom of the Mariana Trench. It has taken him 6 years to return to the surface and it is a shock to all, least of all Cameron, that he has not surfaced in the Pacific Ocean, but in a Redland sink.

When diving, Cameron discovered an archaic marine life named Stillin Librarius, which dwells at the bottom of the seabed that is commonly known as ‘saucepan’.

The life form still needs to be formally categorised but scientists have described it as ‘pretty rank not gonna lie’. In an interview with The Whip Cameron appeared visibly shaken.

‘Out of all my projects so far this one wins in terms of weirdness. I got lonely on the last Challenger Deep mission and some nasty, angry, sexual stuff happened when I got to the bottom. Have you ever been to the literal bottom of the ocean on your own? The combo of cabin fever and thousands of pounds of water pressure can really change a man.

‘Avatar was gnarly too – it cost way too much and was only fairly good. But this one tops the rest. The soaking didn’t even make sense, it was just some pesto pasta, but it had been there since a couple of million years after the Earth formed. So yeah, I’m really quite baffled.

The pioneering film director said that he was eager to further explore this incredible phenomenon, and he plans to start his excavation of the pan some time later this month.

‘It will require a large team, and a lot of fairy liquid, but I think we might be onto something rather extraordinary.’

The hunt for the owner of the pan is still ongoing as all six flatmates have maintained that they haven’t had pasta since last week.

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