Student brings clear, unlabelled keg of IPA into exam
Yesterday, reports emerged of Bradley Hodgson, a second year Sociology student, who walked into the Whitworth Hall exam room with a bucket hat, a smile, and a clear, unlabelled keg of Pale Ale.
The former two items are unheard of under exam conditions. However, invigilators were particularly stupefied by the keg.
According to our sources, the Seconds Touch Rugby captain had been meticulously reading through the examination guidelines line-by-line, as is the etiquette before any exam, when he spotted a loophole.
Many invigilators have refused to come forward to speak on the matter, as they remain in a state of shock, but one kindly agreed to speak to The Whip anonymously.
“I had just bent down to fix the zip on my leather boots, when I looked up and saw the keg of IPA. I clutched my pashmina and suddenly felt quite flustered underneath my Marks and Spencer’s cardigan. I had a sinking feeling that I’d only experienced before when someone forgot their candidate number.
“I furiously studied the guidelines in front of me, but they clearly stated, ‘any liquids must be in clear, unlabelled, sealed containers’, and this liquid was. We could remove the bucket hat, but there was nothing technically at fault with the keg. I’ve never felt so powerless. I was dumbfounded. It was like I’d been stripped of spare paper.
The sociology stumbled out of the exam hall at 4:15pm and was last seen in 256 later that evening, but what happened to the clear, unlabelled keg remains unknown.
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 4Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation
- 5Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness