Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness

“It’s not only the trousers. I thought short-back-and-sides was pretty standard but now I’m looking into getting a mullet.”

The Whip has been made aware of a bonfire dedicated to the destruction of skinny jeans by new university students in the early hours of this morning.

As the news broke it was unclear what the initial motivation was for the seemingly sinister act. Reports emerged, however, that rather than some sort of satanic ritual, this was instead five students damp with sweat attempting to cover all traces of having ever owned a pair of fitted trousers.

On the scene, a reporter for The Whip was able to catch up with one of the late-night fire-starters. “It’s awful!”, exclaimed Rory Cliff, 18 of Charles Morris, as he threw yet another skinny denim piece on the flames.

“I got to halls having spent loads of money at H&M on new clothes and now it turns out all anyone wears is Dickies and second hand cargo pants.” 

“It’s not only the trousers. I thought short-back-and-sides was a pretty standard haircut but now I’m looking into getting a mullet… And don’t even get me started on the piercings!” He continued, hands plunging a needle through his septum as he spoke.

This is not an exceptional case. LS6 locals claim it has become a local tradition every September to be woken to the sound of scurrying footsteps, frantic whispering and the distinctive smell of chargrilled drainpipe denim.  

While the University of Leeds has been encouraged to take a more open stance on tight clothing a spokesperson has reiterated that it has a reputation to uphold and that – although burning skinny jeans is not actively encouraged – getting rid of them does go a long way to developing a distinct Leeds identity in and around the campus.  

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