‘Actually Just Rugby Society’ established for students who’ve had enough of chugging beer from asscracks

We went down to one of the current rugby club’s socials to gauge the reaction.

In a controversial move that diverges from all precedent, plans for a society whose sole aim is to play rugby have been put into motion, The Whip has heard.

Advocating “family friendly fun for men and women of all levels”, it has been widely condemned throughout the rugby community for attempting to remove an intrinsic aspect of the sport’s culture. 

By prioritising exercise and endorphin release over chauvinism, drinking and suppressed sexual tension, some have argued the Actually Just Rugby Society doesn’t understand what really attracts people to this prodigious sport: fragile masculinity.

To get a real glimpse into the cause of the schism and gauge the team members’ opinions, The Whip went down to one of the current rugby club’s socials.

“It’s bullshit”, explained third year flanker Tom, holding a pint of Guinness and pissing into the open mouth of a kneeling fresher.

“They try and make us out as animals when actually we’re all just really sound lads. What’s wrong with drinking anyway. We’re not hurting anyone!” Tom continued, his makeshift urinal nodding vigorously in approval as piss drenched its face. 

Despite LURUFC’s backlash, Actually Just Rugby has received a good uptake.

Jack Ricketts, 20, is amongst those who has signed up. “I’ve always been put off by the drinking and the nakedness, but now I can just get on with playing rugby… I have England trials next week!”  

With Varsity coming up, the next big debate is over who the University will put forward to play the biggest game of the season. 

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