the whip

Student without MacBook detained by campus security for ‘suspicious behaviour’

A second year was restrained by University of Bristol Security Services in an undisclosed location on Woodland Road last week after they were informed that an individual was walking through university grounds without an Apple MacBook.

Royal Fort Lodge was inundated with calls throughout Friday afternoon after Paula Willis, 20, was observed entering a lecture displaying behaviour onlookers described as ‘unusual’.

This included ‘nervous pacing, fidgeting, and having a laptop bag that looked like it weighed something’.

In famously reluctant fashion, campus security were eventually sent to investigate. When Mrs. Willis was identified, they had no choice but to separate her from her friends to take her in for questioning.

“It was clear why students thought there was something not quite right when we saw the alleged suspect from the front of the theatre” said Adrian Hayes, head of student protection.

“When you’re used to getting into your 9 am and seeing a sea of glowing, pulsing, slightly nibbled apples on a huge, amalgamated grey background, an Asus with a flowery case is going to raise some eyebrows” he explained. “That’s exactly the sort of situation we had here today.”

Unfortunately, it seems this level of anxiousness surrounding ‘foreign technology’ is all too common in Bristol. “To put it into context, some of these students have never seen another type of laptop in their life” Mr Hayes commented sympathetically. “We once had a SWAT team called to the Life Sciences Building after a HP Envy was left on a table. The student that reported it thought it was an explosive.”

In response to the incident, UoB have pledged to provide more information on the ‘diverse range of devices’ that are recognised by the University as safe in order to prevent further issues.