Shy fresher finally reveals Siamese twin

Earlier today, in a heartwarming tale, a first year overcame
a phenomenal social obstacle by finally letting the world know who he really
was. A Clifton Hill House denizen called Eric Cooper went four weeks of university
before feeling comfortable enough to show his halls mates that he was, in fact,
a conjoined twin.

The two Coopers strode down their corridor today with their
heads held high, and cries of, “Hey guys, this is John” echoing off the walls
around them. They were greeted with cheers, amazement, and further cries of,
“Hey John, it’s nice to meet you!”

While the halls mates are reportedly delighted, many are
nonetheless gobsmacked. “We just thought he was broad shouldered”, an agog
corridor-mate told The Whip earlier.

“The signs were all there I suppose, I’d just never pieced
it together: he’d always buy spirits in doubles, he went on about his love for
Noah’s ark-themed singsongs, and, most of all, he’s damn good at reaching the
top shelf.”

The Whip managed
to also chat to the brothers themselves, who said, “Freshers can just be quite
a tough time, and, to be honest, we were wracked with shyness.

“We weren’t sure how people would respond and wanted to get
settled in first. It wasn’t easy, but there have been some benefits, we got
loads of ‘2-4-1 deals’ from freshers’ fair, although we just call them
‘deals’.”

After such a triumph over their timidity, the Coopers are
optimistic for the rest of university, hoping to excel academically and achieve
a combined 2:1.