Crispy’s announces one in one out policy after installing new sound system

“We offer an exclusive experience: where else in Leeds provides both deep bass and Sea Bass?”

Today, Leeds’ takeaway juggernaut Crispy’s has announced a drastic new one-in-one-out policy to stem the flow of crowds attempting to enter the establishment on a night out. This comes after the installation of a much-anticipated new sound system that has fundamentally changed the face of Leeds’ clubbing scene. With the closure of Mint Club and Canal Mills imminent, this bold measure has not only pioneered a new form of gastro-club, but has made Crispy’s one of Leeds’ most desirable and exclusive venues for a Saturday night. Speaking on their rebrand, the proprietor of the fast-food joint had this to say: “We think we’ve found our niche – we offer an exclusive experience: where else in Leeds provides both deep bass and Sea Bass? “We’ve managed to combine the best two aspects of a night out: getting battered and getting battered sausages, and having to employ the one-in-one-out policy proves just how popular Crispy’s has become.” Some students are more tentative to the changes however, with fears that their much-loved haunt is becoming too commercialised. Third year Fashion Marketing student, David Chair, had this to say: “Frankly, I’m hesitant. I feel Crispy’s may have lost some of its charm and started taking itself too seriously. Rumours are spreading that it’s soon going to initiate a ‘no trainers’ policy and that could really effect some of Crispy’s original fans. “I don’t mean to sound pathetic, but I liked Crispy’s before it was cool.” The Whip waits in anticipation to see whether this fine fast-food establishment can toe the fine line between exclusive nightclub and everyday chippy as the year progresses.

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