J.K. Rowling reveals that the Forum is gay
Highly successful author of the Harry Potter series and noted Exeter alumni J.K. Rowling stunned the world last night with the revelation that the Forum is of a homosexual persuasion.
Whip reporters were on the scene to cover her shocking announcement.
Speaking on her time in Exeter at a book signing, Rowling commented on a number of influences it had on her writing.
“Well, of course, you can see a lot of parallels if you’ve read the books and been to Exeter University: there’s the maze of stairs in Amory, which gave me the inspiration for the moving staircases; the Mardon common room formed the basis for the Gryffindor dormitory; and that horrible shack the Dursleys take Harry to at the start of the first book is actually filmed in Old LaFrowda.”
But audiences were flabbergasted when Rowling revealed that the character of Albus Dumbledore was an elaborate metaphor for the Forum itself.
“I’m surprised no-one worked it out,” chuckled Rowling, “Dumbledore’s immense reputation and knowledge are based on the Forum’s awesome structure and the fact it contains the library, and of course the fact that Dumbledore is gay is a direct correlation.”
“The building itself is also a dead giveaway,” continued Rowling: “Look at all those zig zags and weird bits on the roof; it’s all part of the complex identity that Dumbledore and this building share.”
We caught up with a few audience members to get their opinion on the matter. Not all were as positive as may be expected. Henry Carter, third year history student, best captured the mood:
“What the hell is she talking about? It’s a building, for Christ’s sake… And one that wasn’t even here when she went to Exeter. Someone please stop her.”
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form