Jeepers! Voodoo Events accidentally summons pagan overlord of destruction at Projekt


Leeds club-goers were left noticeably shaken last Saturday night, as the O2 Academy’s weekly Projekt night was interrupted by an appearance from the (previously considered mythical) Mesopotamian death god. 

Neither the O2 Academy, nor Leeds City council, have come forward with the exact number casualties cause by the appearance. David Cartridge, self-titled chief shaman of the events company, has responded to The Whip’s inquest surrounding the night:

“Obviously when you’re living out of a yurt and run a company called Voodoo, people are going to assume the worst when the physical manifestation of all worldly malevolence turns up at one of your nights. But I cannot emphasis enough that this was not a deliberate summoning.” 

Some early rumours behind the being’s arrival appear to confirm the shaman’s comments that the company are not complicit in the extra-dimensional being’s attendance of the night.

Multiple sources have described a “particularly hard” remix of DJ Guv’s Slice and Dice which was paying moments before the supernatural occurrence. If this is the case, then the banger in question may have accidentally mimicked the exact required tone, pitch and BPM of a six-thousand-year-old blood ritual.

The Voodoo Events PR team have come forward to say that any individuals currently experiencing unrelenting existential dread, or have any family members vaporised by the temporal rift caused by the god’s entrance, to come forward and seek compensation.

In the meantime, The Whip Leeds would like to send out its condolences to all those affected by this paranormal incident.

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