Broke student auctions housemate to highest bidder
As first semester draws to a close purse strings are being tightened by students up and down the country. However, one entrepreneurial second year has come up with a novel way to revive her lifeless corpse of a bank account.
Rebecca Sock, a second year Business student, has decided to put her most marketable housemate on eBay after maxing out her overdraft and selling her eighteenth century stamp collection.
Rebecca contacted The Whip, to explain her cunning scheme.
“I’ve always thought Dan had a lot of USPs – that’s unique selling points to those outside of the business world – and I figured what with my perilous financial situation, this was the perfect time to cash in!
“He’s got an exemplary medical history, a fine and fully intact set of teeth, and the singing voice of an angel. He’s not great at cooking or cleaning, but he does a mighty fine Arnold Schwarzenegger impression so, as far as I’m concerned, he’s all you could ever want from a domestic servant.”
Questions have been asked surrounding the legality of such a procedure, questions largely asked by the slave himself, Dan, who returned from a weekend trip to Sheffield to find himself the subject of a bidding war between Sheikh Muhammad bin-Warsi, Crown Prince of Bahrain and Carl from Skegness.
“Rebecca had always joked that out of all our housemates I was the one who had the highest market value, but I just thought that was her weird way of complementing me. Apparently not”
In recent days though, Dan has opened up to the idea of putting himself up for sale.
“Honestly you should see the size of some of the offers coming in, it’s done wonders for my ego. Rebecca even said she’d give me a 5% cut of my sale value: it’s a win-win!”
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