“Just buy the house”: Charles Morris student explains how to avoid pesky agency fees
As the end of term draws closer, tenancy agreements are once again the hottest topic on campus. Whilst most students snap up properties for 12 month rental tenancies, one Charles Morris fresher has decided to take the housing game a level higher.
“I saw on Leeds Uni tickets that everyone has been posting about dodgy letting agencies, landlords who turn up out of the blue, and extortionate agency fees,” explained Alisha Kumar in an exclusive interview.
“So I just thought: fuck it! I moved some money around and decided to buy the eight man Hyde Park property we had our eye on. God, the girls were so pleased.”
Alisha described her decision to add the house to her family’s already extensive residential property portfolio as “a fairly brash decision, I must admit. The girls and I had viewed about eight houses and none of them were up to scratch. But when we viewed this one it was sooo perfect. I just wasn’t ready to take the risk of getting fucked over by the letting agent.”
Alisha also revealed her plan to scour Christie’s and Sotheby’s to deck out her house, mentioning she was on the market for an original Hockney for her attic bedroom and possibly a Pollock for their open plan, freshly carpeted kitchen-diner.
“It means we can really make the house our own, you know? Add that certain je-ne-sais-quoi that you don’t seem to get in other student digs.
“It’s a buyer’s market after all…at least that’s what Dad said after he brought the flat in Kensington.”
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 4Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation
- 5Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness